


Moon

by L_Y



Series: Stars and Shadows [4]
Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band), SHINee, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Age Difference, Anal Sex, Angst, Biting, Blood Drinking, Blood Kink, Blood and Injury, Bottom Kim Junsu (JYJ), Fluff, Gangs, M/M, Minor Character Death, Past friends with benefits, Self-Harm, Slight dubcon if you squint, Smut, Top Min Yoongi | Suga, Vampire!Junsu, Vampire!Taehyung, Vampires, depressed character, everyone else is human, mild d/s dynamics, vampire!Jaejoong, vampire!taemin, will add more tags as the story goes on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:01:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29613981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L_Y/pseuds/L_Y
Summary: Set after "The Shadows Grow Longer". After the battle in Myeongdong Cathedral, Yoongi and Junsu are hiding from the rebellious members of Bam Jangmi Pa. The life in Junsu's mountain cottage is as peaceful as it can be. But then the vampire's mood takes a sudden turn for the worse and Yoongi is unable to figure out what exactly is bothering his boyfriend.Meanwhile, in Seoul, Jaejoong is coming to understand that in order to have a proper relationship with Taemin, he must find the courage to face his demons from the past.This fic is a sequel to "Golden Star", "The Shadows Grow Longer" and "How Can I Lose My Shadow".
Relationships: Kim Jaejoong/Lee Taemin, Kim Junsu (JYJ)/Min Yoongi | Suga
Series: Stars and Shadows [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1936639
Kudos: 1





	Moon

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is probably the most self-indulgent thing I've ever written. :) If you're not familiar with the series, I strongly suggest you to read at least "The Shadows Grow Longer", because it mostly deals with the aftermath of the events described there. But if you're here just for some good old angst and emotional vampire smut, then enjoy. XD
> 
> If you spot any grammar mistakes, please let me know, because English is not my first language.

There was something odd going on with Junsu. Something really odd.

It had started a week ago, or so. By now they had been staying in Junsu’s mountain cottage for almost two weeks and Yoongi was slowly getting used to their new life. At first it had been difficult to get by without internet or a cellphone – at least Junsu had an old generator that supplied the house with electricity, so he was still able to use his computer, though without the internet –, but after a while Yoongi had begun to… enjoy it, in a way. Nothing ever happened here and, honestly, he did not want anything to happen, especially after all this craziness that had brought them here in the first place. There were no vampire hunters, no gangsters, no illegal deals and interrogations and secret missions. Everything was so calm and peaceful.

And silent.

Silence was the next thing that had taken some time to get used to. As long as Yoongi remembered, there had always been a perpetual noise of traffic, during his childhood in Daegu and later in Seoul. Most of the time it did not even register; only a constant familiar hustle in the background. But here was nothing besides wind and the hollow creaking of trees and the soft whirring of a generator in the garage, occasionally interrupted by a moody rattling. No cars, no trains, no people. Nothing. Even the birds were quieter in the winter.

Junsu had been his usual cheerful self at first, keeping in touch with Amber and updating Yoongi on the whereabouts of Bam Jangmi Pa. He did not call Jaejoong or Leeteuk, in order their phones were tapped, but Amber was their safest contact at the moment. Yoongi learned that Leeteuk was planning to completely wipe out his father’s former advisors, but the process took longer than he would have liked and the absence of Taehyung was keenly felt. Leeteuk had even thought about asking Jaejoong for help, but was afraid that the vampire might sniff out some important information and use it against him. Junsu doubted it, but who knew. Jaejoong had always viewed his illicit activities as some big game and this tendency made his behaviour quite hard to predict.

Which meant that they – or at least Yoongi – had to stay in their hiding place for a few months. Not that Yoongi objected. Junsu bought him food and always made sure that there was enough water in the house, in order Yoongi wanted to take a bath. Sometimes they took long walks in the forests around the cottage and one time, when the weather was fairly warm for a December, Junsu had even convinced him to go to the Jirisan National Park and hike to the Jirisan mountain. They had not met any other visitors and had had a small picnic at the foot of the mountain. Yoongi had been the only one eating while Junsu had been distracting him with kisses that had finally turned into an impromptu make-out session. Afterwards Yoongi had complained about being tired from the long walk and made Junsu carry him for the entire way back.

And there was sex, of course. Mind-blowing, amazing sex. Yoongi could not remember getting laid so much over such a short period of time. Junsu was a total powerbottom, he learned – not that it came as a surprise for him. And those times when the vampire topped him, he was so gentle that Yoongi felt as if swimming in a sea of eternal bliss, the only thing that anchored him to earth being Junsu’s fingers digging into his hips and the sharp pain-pleasure of his bites.

And one time, when Yoongi had asked for it, Junsu had made him lie completely still with his spells and had bitten him all over, starting from Yoongi’s neck and moving lower, until the man’s chest, stomach and thighs had been littered with red imprints and he had been unable to remember how many times he had came. He had been sore for three days, but it had been totally worth it.

So Yoongi was happier than he had felt for a long time. Also, he had found that his desire to live and to actually do things was coming back. Not that he had desperately wanted to die before, but most of the time he just had not cared if he was alive or dead. And not that he did not get anything done before, but usually he did things because they had to be done, not because he actually wanted to. Maybe it was the battle in Myeongdong Cathedral, the strong possibility of death, that had shown him how much he really valued his life. Maybe it was his surroundings – Yoongi had read that a drastic change of environment could shake the person out of his usual thought patterns and sometimes even ease depression. Maybe it was Junsu, the way he seemed to intuitively understand Yoongi’s emotions, and his constant but not annoying happiness.

Or maybe it was _him_ , Junsu’s maker whom Yoongi had met at this fateful night in the cathedral. Maybe they were his eyes, so human and at the same time completely alien. Or his smile, soft and intoxicating and a little shy. Or his sadness – probably infinitely bigger than Yoongi’s, but still familiar, so that he was not alone with himself any more. Or the way he had asked Yoongi to take care of his beloved.

But for the last week, his beloved, his Junsu – Yoongi still felt giddy when he thought of the vampire as _his_ – had been strangely distant. And restless. He spent time with Yoongi as usual, he still talked to him, he still kissed and hugged him a lot, but more and more often Yoongi saw a frown marring his beautiful face. Sometimes he sat for a long time, unmoving, gazing into thin air, and then looked around like being woken up from sleep. Afterwards he usually pulled Yoongi into his arms, pressed his face into Yoongi’s neck and inhaled, slow and deep, as if wanting to breathe the man in. Yoongi would have really enjoyed these long hugs if he had not worried so much about Junsu.

And sometimes Junsu looked plainly sad, as if Yoongi’s own sadness had not gone away, but simply changed its host and absorbed into him. It usually lasted for a while, before it was overshadowed by confusion and worry.

Junsu did not shut him off, of course. He talked to Yoongi about his feelings and answered the younger’s questions. The problem was that he had no clear idea why he was feeling like this. It was not about Taehyung who was still safely in Canada – Yoongi had talked to the young vampire a few times. It was not about Jaejoong and Taemin, or Leeteuk’s treacherous advisors. It was not even about being away from other people – Junsu had told him that sometimes, when the hectic life of Seoul had tired him out, he had stayed in this house for a month or more, completely alone. He did not know why he was feeling like this.

Some subconscious instinct told Yoongi that Junsu was hiding something from him. But he also understood that prying could only make things worse.

Once he actually asked. It was when Junsu had returned from one of his shop trips. He brought the food Yoongi had ordered, but also gave him a small bag of garlic. And a knife with a blade so shiny that it could not have been an ordinary steel.

“It’s silver,” Junsu explained and sneezed from the scent of the garlic.

Yoongi looked at the knife and then back at the vampire. “Why? Are you afraid that another vampire might attack us?”

Junsu shook his head and then shrugged.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I just felt that… you have to have some silver with you. Or… no, not exactly. It’s more like… I have thought about silver for the entire day, for some strange reason. I’ve… I’ve felt a pull to it. It doesn’t make any sense, I know.”

Yoongi stuck the knife back into its leather sheath and attached the sheath to his belt. “Hyung, you have not told me everything. You know something that I don’t.”

Junsu did not argue.

“I wouldn’t say that I know,” he sighed. “I _feel_. But I’m not entirely sure of what I feel. Something’s going to happen, but…”

He sneezed again and led Yoongi away from the offending bag of garlic on the table. Flopping down on the couch, he pulled Yoongi with him and hid his face into the other’s hair.

“I feel that I shouldn’t be here,” he said. “But I’m not sure where I should be. And I also feel that if I follow my feeling to where it leads me, it will make things worse, not better. I feel sadness and worry and weariness. And I feel that something is going to happen. Something bad. But if I do anything to stop it, it will be even worse. I want to be _there_ – somewhere –, but I shouldn’t.”

Yoongi swallowed hard. By then he had only worried about Junsu’s mental health and increasingly volatile emotions, but now there was a sudden nameless fear squeezing his heart. If it had been a human telling him those things, he would have thought that the other had gone mad. But vampires could _sense_ things.

And their intuition was usually right.

“How bad is it?” Yoongi asked, squeezing Junsu’s hand. It felt colder than usual.

“Very,” Junsu whispered.

“And will it happen to us? Or to someone else?”

Junsu let out a quiet sniffle.

“Not to you,” he finally said, choosing his words carefully. “But… I’m not sure about anything else.”

Yoongi drew a sharp breath and turned over, facing Junsu. “Hyung, you… you can’t… is it about the vampire hunters?”

Junsu cracked a small smile, but it seemed awfully distant. “No, not the hunters.” He blinked his eyes and took Yoongi’s face into his hands, looking at him with sudden tenderness. “Yoongi-ah, don’t ask any more. I really don’t know for sure and I don’t want to frighten you for nothing. I’ll protect you. And… I’ll protect myself as well.”

Junsu’s birthday came and went. Nothing happened, except for the fact that Junsu bought Yoongi some cake and dismissed his grumblings that he did not have a gift for the older.

“You are my gift,” the vampire stated and kissed Yoongi on the nose.

“Help!” Yoongi groaned. “Too sweet! I’m getting cavities.”

Junsu giggled at that and kissed him some more and the rest of the day passed in a rather relaxed atmosphere. But at night Yoongi woke up for some reason and saw Junsu awake, sitting on the low windowsill. There was nothing strange in him being awake in the middle of the night, because Junsu did not need to sleep as much as humans, but he was holding something Yoongi could not see in the dark and looking at it intently, a dim glow in his eyes.

Then he lifted the object, poked it with his finger and drew his hand back as if burned. He repeated the action, but held still for a bit longer, before pulling back again.

A gust of wind moved the branches behind the window and moonlight glinted on the small object for a second, cold and silvery.

It was Yoongi’s knife.

At morning he sent Yoongi one of his most blinding smiles, kissed him, and when they made love, Yoongi found himself thinking that maybe this strange sadness was finally over.

After a few days Yoongi was starting to feel cooped up in the cottage. He sulked about it for an hour or so, until Junsu noticed. The older cast Yoongi a thoughtful look and asked if he wanted to go outside.

“You can take my car,” Junsu explained, “and go to the national park, to the village of Changwon. You’ll find it easily – there are road signs and once you get out of the woods, you should be able to use internet again. There’s a lovely little cafe in Changwon that sells home-made food. Go, eat something and have a drink. I know the owner – say her hello for me. And call the house phone if you’re not home before midnight.”

Yoongi looked at Junsu, surprised. “You’re not coming?”

Junsu smiled at him. His mood had shown some improvement after his birthday and he was almost the same Junsu Yoongi had known before. “Yoongi-ah, you clearly need some space from me. You have been here for two weeks by now, seeing only me every day. Go, have fun, talk to people. I checked the car this morning and filled the tank.”

Junsu’s car was an 80’s Range Rover that barely fitted on the narrow mountain road. But it was easy to drive and it went through half-melted snow, loose gravel, mud and broken branches like nothing. When the landscape had cleared a little, the radio caught a signal and Yoongi heard news for the first time after two weeks. There was nothing particularly interesting, mostly Christmas advertisements, but it was still somewhat comforting to know that out there life went on and the world did not consist only of greyish sky, snow, trees covered with snow and moist wind that smelled like melting snow.

Melting snow had its own distinctive smell, Yoongi had noticed. Funny that he had never paid attention to it before.

The village of Changwon was fairly easy to find, just as Junsu had said. It had started to snow again when Yoongi reached the border of Jirisan National Park – wet, heavy substance, more sleet than actual snow. The man was glad to finally spot a small white house his GPS introduced as the Village Cafe, and escape the weather in its cosy warmth. The cafe was almost empty, only a family with three children sitting near the counter and chatting excitedly in English. Tourists.

Yoongi chose a table in the farthest corner of the room and looked out of the window. There was a little porch outside that was probably perfect for warm summer evenings, but now the chairs were covered up and a pile of watery snow was slowly melting on the table.

The owner was an elderly woman with greying hair and a bright smile. Yoongi ordered sundubu jjigae with rice and said that Kim Junsu had asked to greet her. The woman’s face lit up as a Christmas candle.

“Junsu?” she repeated. “That lovely boy from Seoul? With red hair? You’re visiting him? It’s so sweet of him to remember me! Next time take him with you – I haven’t seen him in a while. And make sure he eats and rests properly, the poor lad always looks so pale.”

After the woman had brought Yoongi his order and the tourists were gone, she sat down for a chat. Normally Yoongi did not like random strangers invading his personal space, but after two weeks without the internet and having only Junsu as a company – even if the vampire was a really pleasant company most of the time – he was glad to talk to someone.

“So you know Junsu?” the woman asked. “He told me he is a singing instructor in Seoul and I found out that he also performs in those expensive restaurants.” She chuckled warmly. “That boy is so modest, he didn’t want to tell me the names of the restaurants, but my grandson was a security guard in Pierre Gagnaire à Séoul and has heard him singing in more than one business party. And one time some young lady who visited my cafe had a guitar with her. Junsu happened to be here at the same time and he sang for us. What a voice! Have you heard him?”

Yoongi uttered an affirmative. Junsu loved to sing and had expressed his regret over the fact that he could not have a piano in his cottage, because he was there so rarely that the cold and humid air of the unheated house would have damaged the instrument. Also, Junsu had sang to him at the very first night he had met Yoongi. The man still clearly remembered the dark air in Taehyung’s bookshop, a piano in the corner and Junsu’s voice wrapping around him as if the vampire’s eerily fascinating presence had been turned into music.

With a small surprise Yoongi realised that it had been less than two months ago.

It was a strange thing to think about. It felt as if he had known Junsu for much longer.

“He loves my iced tea,” the woman went on. “What a pity he can’t eat the food here – he’s got some rare kind of a stomach disorder and he has to be on a very strict diet. That’s probably why he’s so pale, poor boy.”

Yoongi stuffed his mouth with rice to hide his smile. Well, technically Junsu had not lied. From a human perspective, his, erm… condition could have been called a stomach disorder, and a rare one on top of it. The only thing Junsu had not revealed was the fact that his strict diet only included human blood – Yoongi’s blood for the last two weeks, to be specific.

“But he’s so polite!” the woman exclaimed. “And – I know I’m old already, but I still have eyes – he looks so handsome! I wonder how is it possible that he isn’t married already. Or doesn’t have a girlfriend, at least. He could get any woman he sets his eyes to.”

Yoongi really did not know how to answer that. And when his companion turned to him and asked, “Or do you know if he has found someone?”, he could not help the faint blush rising to his cheeks.

The woman witnessed Yoongi’s silent struggle for a moment and then an understanding spread across her face.

“Ah,” she said, her smile growing, “that’s the case. So you love him?”

Yoongi felt his blush deepening, but nodded nonetheless. “I do.”

The woman took a sip of her own bubble tea she had brought along. “And for how long have you known him?”

“Not long, actually,” Yoongi admitted. “Almost two months. But I… he… we’re…”

He really loved Junsu. So much that sometimes he was afraid of his feelings not being normal. But he could not tell it to someone he had just met, even if she knew Junsu. He had not even told Junsu yet.

The woman’s smile turned softer. “Two months is good for a start. And when you love each other, you’ll have many years to get to know each other. When I married my husband, I had known him only for five months. And now we have been happily married for forty-seven years already.”

Yoongi raised his brow. “Wow. Congratulations. It’s… it’s quite uncommon nowadays, to be honest.”

The woman nodded thoughtfully. “I get it. Girls these days have become more independent. They know better what they want, they want to study and have a career and they won’t be satisfied with any man. I have talked about it with my granddaughters and I think it’s a good thing they’re taking care of themselves. But on the other hand, people in general are not ready to work on relationships. They want everything delivered to them on a silver platter. The final product, like in a cafe where you just go in and order and the food will be made for you, so you can only enjoy. But it doesn’t work out like that. You have to put some effort into cooking.”

Yoongi smiled bashfully. “I’m afraid Junsu has put a lot more effort into cooking than I have.”

The woman shook her head. “Don’t say it like that. Junsu will do his part and you will do yours. Sometimes it’s him who invests more into the relationship and then there will come a time when you have to give more. Don’t worry about it.”

Yoongi took another bite of his food. Maybe now was the time when he had to be the one supporting Junsu. The vampire seemed to feel a lot better than a few days ago, but there was still something strange with him Yoongi could not put his finger on.

The only problem was that he had no idea what to do.

It was dark already when Yoongi left the cafe. His phone told him that it was almost eight – which meant that he had been there for four hours. A few more visitors had come by, but most of the time it had only been Yoongi and the cafe owner. He had talked to the woman some more – the latter was excited to hear that Yoongi could play the piano – and read all the e-mails he had got during the last two weeks. Then he had browsed through the latest news. His favourite had been the one titled “Ritual Massacre in Myeongdong Cathedral” which presented the vampire hunters as an order of Christian mystics that had somehow clashed with the criminal world of Seoul and had therefore been killed for their beliefs right in the middle of their sacred rites. The police was apparently still trying to find the culprits.

Yoongi snorted quietly. Technically the article was right – as right as Junsu being on a diet because of a rare stomach disorder. Leave out some details and it will be a totally different story.

The soft wet clumps of snow had turned into sharp icy rain when Yoongi drove the car on the narrow mountain road that zigzagged up to Junsu’s cottage. The visibility was close to zero, but fortunately he managed to reach the garage without any accidents. He was in a good mood, despite the weather, and the only thing that dampened his spirits a little was the lack of light in the windows. Junsu must have been gone somewhere.

When Yoongi had drove the car into garage and hurried towards the house, half-jogging through the freezing rain, he was starting to grow worried. Where had Junsu gone with such a weather? Yes, the other was a vampire and could not get sick, but as much as Yoongi knew, he was not a big fan of rain, because the humidity was bad to the fancy leather pants he preferred to jeans or sweats.

Yoongi opened the door and switched on the light. The first thing he saw was Junsu’s coat hanging from the rack. Which meant that the older had left the house, wearing only one of those flimsy shirts he liked so much.

But next to the coat rack were Junsu’s boots, clean and mostly dry.

Leaving his own boots next to Junsu’s, Yoongi shook off his soaked coat and put it on the fireplace to dry. There was no fire in the fireplace, but it had to wait. At first he wanted to find Junsu. If the vampire’s boots were here, then he was probably sitting in the bedroom, lights off, staring out of the window with this horribly distant look in his eyes.

Junsu was not in the bedroom. But his cellphone was.

Yoongi was beginning to panic. It was ordinary for the both of them to keep their cellphones in the bedroom – there was no wireless phone service in the deep forest, after all –, but when Junsu went outside for longer, he always took his phone with him.

The man looked into the bathroom. It was empty. Then he hurried back to bedroom and, even if it seemed ridiculous, searched from under the bed. Next he went to living room and looked under the table, on the high cupboard and behind the coach.

Nothing.

Yoongi squeezed his eyes shut and drew a deep breath. Acting quickly, to not let the panic override his thinking, he put on his boots again, pulled the soaked coat over his clothes, went outside and shouted as loudly as he could, “Junsu-hyung!”

Maybe it was foolish or even dangerous, but Yoongi was too worried to care. He called the vampire again, until his voice went hoarse from shouting in the cold. Then he walked around the house, trying to find at least some clue about Junsu. But it was dark, the heavy rain making the late evening almost impenetrable and slowly seeping through his already wet coat.

Yoongi leaned against a wet tree trunk and tried to analyse the situation. There had not been anything unusual in the house, nothing out of place. He had not seen any signs of a fight, not even any wet footprints on the clean wooden floor. If there had been anything, it must have been happened outside. But Junsu’s coat and boots were in the living room and Yoongi could not find a reason why he should have left the house barefoot.

Maybe Junsu had just gone outside for a moment. But why was he not answering to Yoongi?

The man sighed – it sounded more like a sob –, swallowed the lump in his throat and decided to look around the house once more. If he did not find anything, he was going to call Taehyung and ask him Jaejoong’s latest number, the possible spies overhearing his calls be damned.

Behind the cottage, in the darkest corner between the house and the garage, Yoongi stumbled upon a big stone he did not remember being there before. He rose to his feet again, wiped the worst of the mud and old leaves off his jeans and switched on his cellphone light. Maybe it was not a stone but a dead animal or something equally disgusting, and Yoongi did not want to accidentally run into it again.

It was not a stone, neither an animal.

Yoongi crouched down, clutching the phone in his hand. “What the fuck… Junsu-hyung?”

Junsu was kneeling in the mud and watery snow, silent and unmoving. He looked horribly pale – not even his usual ivory colour, but white as a sheet of paper. His full lips were bitten raw and his eyes seemed like bottomless black holes rimmed with red. They looked right through Yoongi, empty and unseeing.

If not his pupils narrowing in the sudden light, Yoongi would have thought that he was dead.

“Hyung?” he said, concerned.

At least his voice seemed to have some effect on the other, because Junsu snapped out of his daze with a jolt. His eyes flicked around frantically and when they fell on Yoongi, he screwed them tightly shut and started shivering.

“Hyung?” Yoongi tentatively asked again. “What happened?”

Junsu did not answer. Blindly, he lifted his shaking hand and let it hover over Yoongi’s cheek before carefully touching the soft skin with ice-cold fingertips. The vampire’s lips were quivering for a moment, but he pulled himself together, blinking his eyes and swallowing convulsively.

“Yoongi-ah,” he muttered with a quiet uncertain voice, raspy from unshed tears. “My little sweet human. Will you… can you…”

Now he was finally looking at Yoongi – properly looking. His face was a mess of emotions – confusion, fear, anger… and deep, heart-wrenching sadness over everything else.

“Yes?”

Junsu sniffled and closed his eyes again. “Could you take care of me?”

He looked like a child, a puzzled and fearful child kneeling there on the wet forest floor with his shoulders hunched and lower lip pinched between his teeth so tightly that Yoongi was afraid he might draw blood. He must have been there for quite some time, because his bare feet were almost entirely buried beneath the snow. His hair and shirt were soaking wet.

“Of course I will take care of you, hyung,” Yoongi whispered, putting his phone away. “What do you want me to do?”

Junsu did not open his eyes, but his chilly fingers slipped from Yoongi’s face to the nape of his neck. They were shaking as Junsu gently pulled him closer. Yoongi took the other’s pallid cheeks between his hands and leaned in to drop a soft kiss on Junsu’s lips, but the vampire apparently had a different idea. He gripped Yoongi’s neck stronger and blindly chased after his mouth, causing Yoongi to prolong and deepen the kiss.

Junsu used kisses to calm himself down, Yoongi had noticed. He was never shy with physically showing his affection, but for the last week he had been downright addicted to Yoongi’s lips. Even now, when he seemed to be too afraid to look Yoongi in the eye for some reason, he still coaxed the man’s mouth open with his tongue and pressed forward, some strange kind of desperation in his urgency.

After a while, Yoongi pulled back to leave tiny pecks all over Junsu’s face. With a small satisfaction he looked how the other’s tense features gradually began to relax. The crease between his brows evened a little and sharp lines around his mouth became softer.

“Can we go inside, hyung?” Yoongi suggested. “It’s wet and cold here.”

Junsu nodded absently and rose at his feet, swaying. Clutching Yoongi’s waist with both hands, he hid his face into the crook of the other’s neck, so that Yoongi had to walk him backwards into their little house. He bypassed the living room and led them to the sleeping area, sat Junsu down on the bed and switched on a dim bedside light. The vampire did not let him go. His bare feet were blue from cold, the front of his shirt was covered with mud and his closed lids were light pink and puffy as if he had been crying. The last thought alone made Yoongi’s heart hurt.

“Hyung,” Yoongi tried again, sitting next to Junsu and wrapping his arms around the other, “what happened? Will you tell me?”

He felt Junsu gulp and shake his head quickly.

“But if we are in danger,” Yoongi insisted, “I want to know.”

Junsu nuzzled Yoongi’s neck and took a deep breath. He was shivering, but Yoongi was not sure if it was from cold or nerves. Or both. Could vampires get cold?

“We are not,” Junsu mumbled, “we are not in danger.”

“But…”

“No,” Junsu cut in, voice trembling. “Don’t, please. Just… just do something… anything. Kiss me. Love me. Show me t-that… that you won’t… that you are… alive. Please.”

Yoongi watched the shaking vampire in his hands, perplexed. He hated the feeling, the sense of absolute powerlessness. Everything had been so beautiful at first when they had come here, before that strange shift in Junsu’s mood. And now, when he had just started to feel better again, _this_ had happened.

What was the worst, Yoongi had no idea what _this_ was.

Sighing, he kicked off his boots – he had to clean the bedroom floor later – and tilted Junsu’s head back to kiss him again. Junsu’s eyes were still closed, but he went easily where the younger’s hand guided him and leaned his face towards Yoongi. The wet ruffles of his shirt peeled away from his outstretched neck and Yoongi let his gaze slip over the ivory skin, smooth and unmar-

No, not unmarred any more.

Yoongi frowned when he saw a dark stripe on Junsu’s pale neck. The line was narrow, but it seemed to be deep, because Junsu’s skin was slightly curved outward from the edges. And now, when he looked closer, black trails were running from the stripe into the collar of Junsu’s shirt which was not smeared with mud, as he had thought, but…

Yoongi touched the stripe – no, wound – with one finger. “Hyung, what’s this?”

Junsu flinched and gasped. The wound was on the process of closing itself, slowly but surely, and Yoongi saw that initially it had been even bigger. A white raised welt that stretched out from both ends indicated that someone had slashed Junsu’s throat open from side to side.

Yoongi clutched Junsu’s shoulders so hard that his own fingers began to hurt. His stomach was turning with fear. As much as he knew, there was only one kind of material that could injure a vampire so badly.

“Hyung,” he said again. His voice sounded oddly lifeless and it was hard to press the words out of his throat. “Who is there? Who did it? What’s happening? Please tell me!”

At this Junsu pushed his face into Yoongi’s neck and shook his head.

“No-one,” he mumbled. “No-one’s there any more.”

“You killed them? Did they attack you?”

“No. It was me.”

“You… hyung, do you want to say that you slit your own throat?”

Junsu did not say anything, but Yoongi felt a minute nod against his shoulder.

Well, at least no-one had tried to attack them and Junsu was not in danger.

Or was he?

Did someone force him to do it?

“Hyung, why? And… with what?”

The last riddle was not actually hard for Yoongi to solve by himself. Such a deep and slowly healing cut must have been done with a silver weapon. And if it had not been a hunter, then the only thing Junsu could have used was…

“My knife, isn’t it?”

Junsu choked on a sob.

“I’m sorry, Yoongi-ah,” he whispered. “I… I had to let it out somehow. The pain, I mean. I didn’t… I… I…”

“Hyung, you…” Yoongi let Junsu’s shoulders go, cupped his cheeks again – a little warmer than before – and turned his face towards himself, even if Junsu still had his eyes closed. “No-one told you to do it? No-one’s there? You just… did it yourself?”

Junsu lowered his head and nodded, eyelids fluttering for a moment, and Yoongi watched how a tear formed in the inner corner of Junsu’s left eye, before sliding down, passing the nose and disappearing into the corner of Junsu’s trembling mouth.

Yoongi was a bit ashamed of himself, but his first reaction was utter relief. No-one was trying to harm Junsu. No-one was trying to kill them. There were no vampire hunters, no killers sent by Leeteuk’s older advisors, no rogue vampires who might attack them.

“I’m sorry,” Junsu breathed again. “I just… I couldn’t…”

“Don’t apologise, hyung,” Yoongi whispered, voice equally quiet. “Don’t… I get it.”

He pulled the vampire closer and pressed his face against the crimson mop of wet hair. This he understood. Letting the pain out. It had been the main reason he had started cutting himself as a teenager. But it had lessened with therapy and antidepressants, and lately he had not felt any need for it… Yoongi had to think… for almost half a year. And fortunately he had always managed to keep his dangerous coping mechanism under control, more or less.

However, the initial relief quickly turned into worry. Junsu did not seem the type to deliberately hurt himself. But constant stress could do strange things to a person. And if cutting his neck open was only a start, then how long would it take for Junsu to go for his heart? When the full moon comes again, will Yoongi find the vampire’s dead body, a silver knife stuck through his chest?

“Yoongi,” Junsu said as if reading the man’s thoughts, and lifted his head a little, so that his voice was not muffled by Yoongi’s neck. “Yoongi-ah, don’t worry. I… I will be all right… someday. I will tell you… but not now. Only… you won’t leave me… or will you?”

Leave him? Yoongi shook his head. “I’d never, hyung.”

“And…” Junsu’s whisper was barely heard, “you will wait? For me?”

Yoongi did not understand what the other was referring to, but he nodded nonetheless.

“Good,” Junsu breathed and kissed Yoongi’s cheek and the corner of his mouth and then his lips were against Yoongi’s and the cool tongue was prodding for entrance. Yoongi could not help but moan lowly when he felt Junsu’s tongue sliding past his parted lips and stroking the insides of his mouth with soft wet brushes. He clutched Junsu’s damp shirt with both hands and tried to find a more comfortable position in the bed, pulling the vampire over him. If kissing him helped Junsu feel better again, then he was determined to do his best.

And, yes, his motives were not solely altruistic, because kissing Junsu helped him feel better as well.

Shifting in the bed and arranging Junsu above him, Yoongi noticed that something was missing. Usually them lying down like this was followed by Junsu’s calm and heavy presence falling over him and turning his limbs into jelly. But now there was nothing. Junsu was there with him, but at the same time… he was not. His movements were slower than usual, dazed and a little shaky.

Yoongi felt Junsu’s breath against his face – short cold huffs occasionally coming from his nose – and squinted his eyes open to look at the vampire. Junsu’s eyes were still shut and he was desperately clinging to Yoongi with one hand, while slowly savouring the taste of his mouth. The other hand was petting Yoongi’s back, restless fingers moving up and down, sometimes slipping under the hoodie and t-shirt and caressing the bare skin. Goosebumps rose in the wake of his chilly touch and, despite his confusion and fear for Junsu, Yoongi revelled in the feeling of dull fingernails occasionally digging into his flesh. Other than that, Junsu was pliant in his hands, letting Yoongi to position him however the younger wanted. It almost seemed to Yoongi like their roles were reversed, with him so completely in charge and Junsu so docile on top of him.

This gave Yoongi an idea. He was not sure if it was good or bad, but at least, he thought, it would surprise Junsu out of this strange daze he was in. Carefully, gauging Junsu’s reaction, Yoongi broke the kiss and flipped them over, so that Junsu was underneath him. When there was no objection, he fumbled with the upper buttons of Junsu’s shirt and pushed the soaked fabric down his shoulders. Still moving slowly, he brushed Junsu’s wet hair from his face and tilted his head to the side.

He had never properly seen Junsu’s neck up so close. Usually it was hidden under the scarves or the lacy collars of those silk shirts Junsu loved so much. And at the times when the vampire was stripped bare on top or under him, Yoongi was too occupied for this kind of… sightseeing. Besides, it had always been his own neck in the centre of attention.

Yoongi ran his palm over the icy skin, avoiding the slowly healing cut. The skin was soft, yet strong, like the rest of Junsu. And – he had to bow down and look closer, because at first he thought his eyes were cheating him – there were two little scars on the otherwise pristine surface. Fully healed, almost unnoticeable, but still scars, two small indents above the collarbone, at the meeting point of Junsu’s neck and right shoulder.

Now he became even more hesitant for some reason, but once the thought had came, he could not shake it off. So he ducked down, pressed his lips onto the scars and sucked. Then he opened his mouth wider and promptly bit down on Junsu’s neck.

He almost waited for the vampire to push him away. He expected Junsu to growl darkly at him, pin him down to the bed and bite his shoulders and neck relentlessly, until they were bright red and nearly bleeding – not like he would have complained, of course. But to his utter surprise, Junsu’s head fell back, a full-body shiver racked his lithe frame and he _whimpered_.

With this, his presence came back, as if Yoongi had bitten through a thread that was binding it. The spellbound around him was weaker than usual, laced with sadness and grief, but it was there, swirling in the air, fascinating and alluring… and aroused?

Yoongi dug his fingers into the scars and looked at Junsu. The vampire had his eyes still closed, his rosy lips were parted and something akin to the lightest pink was dusting his cheeks. Should he continue? Should he tone it down, ask Junsu for permission and then go on? Should he stop and not do anything until they had talked about what had happened to Junsu while he had been away? The last option seemed the most reasonable, but Yoongi had a suspicion Junsu would not like it right now.

“Please,” Junsu whispered, his fingers clutching the sleeves of Yoongi’s hoodie. “Again.”

Yoongi did not think twice. He lowered his mouth onto the scars and bit down again. His own teeth left behind small white scrapes that disappeared as quickly as they had come.

The air around him was moving. Usually the atmosphere surrounding Junsu was strong, forceful and so delightfully frightening, but this time it was gentler, softer, more timid. It did not wash over him as a tidal wave, but caressed him shyly, drew him in and made his chest expand with something he had never felt with Junsu.

Power.

Yoongi bit the vampire again, almost laughing at this complete change of roles. Junsu pulled him closer and pushed his own head into the pillow, presenting his neck to Yoongi. The wound stretched with the motion and for a moment Yoongi was afraid that it might rip open, but Junsu’s skin was strong enough to hold together. Mesmerized, Yoongi drew his fingers across Junsu’s throat, stopping on the hollow of his neck and pushing down lightly. Junsu responded with a shiver and let out an adorable whine.

Yoongi felt his blood rushing downwards at the shuddering sound. Only with a few barely-there bites to his neck, the cunning predator had turned into a sweet, helpless prey. The man’s head became light and his vision swam. With a sharp surge of arousal and possessiveness, surprising even to him, he tore Junsu’s shirt open – no buttons were ripped off this time, fortunately – and sucked and bit his collarbones, his muscular chest and his pale pink nipples. Junsu’s moans and sighs spurred him on until, after a particularly strong bite on the other’s nipple, he was afraid for a moment that he had accidentally hurt his lover. But Junsu only grabbed his hair and bucked his hips against Yoongi’s, and Yoongi saw that the vampire’s tight leather pants were pulled taut over a very prominent bulge.

Well, _this_ was definitely a pleasant change. Yoongi gulped heavily, mouth watering and breath catching in his throat. He cupped Junsu’s throbbing arousal through the black leather, pressing down slightly, and his lover’s shaky moan was music to his ears. With trembling fingers he opened the buttons of Junsu’s pants and trailed his hand lower, to the waistband of the other’s trousers. The vampire was pulling his hair almost painfully, fingers rhythmically loosening and gripping tighter again.

They should really stop now.

Junsu bucked his hips up, a needy whine falling from his lips.

“Hyung,” Yoongi pleaded in hushed voice, swallowing heavily, “may I?” Maybe it was an unnecessary thing to ask in a situation like this, but Junsu still looked so frail and Yoongi was afraid he could shatter into little pieces if touched carelessly.

Junsu nodded hastily, not opening his eyes. “Whatever you wish,” he choked out, “whatever you wish. I want it all.”

They should stop.

Something between a growl and a helpless moan rumbled in Yoongi’s throat. Junsu’s pants were pulled off and thrown carelessly to the corner, followed by his underwear. The vampire helped Yoongi, shrugging off his damp shirt. His arousal slapped on his defined stomach. Yoongi traced it with his fingers and swallowed Junsu’s breathy whimper. Meanwhile, Junsu’s hands had found a way under his shirt again and were impatiently pulling at the fabric.

They should stop.

Yoongi drew back and took in the sight before him – Junsu’s tightly shut eyes, the lids still swollen from apparent crying, and dark circles under wet lashes tainting his porcelain skin. The reddish-black blood smeared over his chest. The half-healed cut on his neck. His tense, quivering muscles.

They should…

“Come here,” Junsu whispered. “Don’t think. Just kiss me.”

Fuck it, Yoongi thought. He was only human and Junsu’s red lips were too inviting, his light pink cock wept for attention and his sudden submission turned Yoongi on more than he could ever have imagined. Besides, Yoongi reasoned himself, Junsu was far stronger than any human and could easily stop Yoongi if something was not for his liking.

Reaching out blindly, Junsu grabbed Yoongi by neck and brought their mouths together with such a haste than their foreheads collided painfully. And just as easily as this, with one touch of these soft cool lips, Yoongi forgot all his hesitation and objections. He climbed on top of Junsu, took a hold of one muscular leg and hoisted it over his shoulder. Junsu’s pale pink opening was waiting for him, twitching a little, and when Yoongi brushed his fingers over it, the vampire let out a soft breathy moan.

Lube was on the nightstand – with only them in the house they had not bothered hiding it – and Yoongi squeezed a generous amount on his fingers. He was too impatient to waste any time on warming it; and Junsu did not mind the cold anyway. One finger breached the ring of muscles easily and Yoongi pushed forward, until it had disappeared to the knuckle into the cool softness.

Junsu’s mouth went lax and air rushed past his lips in a low groan. His right hand was clutching Yoongi’s shoulder and the man felt Junsu’s fingers shaking as he tried to hold himself back and not accidentally crush the bone. His left hand was on his own thigh, fingers digging into the firm flesh.

“Another,” Junsu whispered.

“Already? Wait a moment, hyung, I’ll…”

“Now. Please. _Please_.”

There was a strange urgency in his voice, as if he was under a spell; or sleeping and being afraid of the dream ending too soon.

Yoongi added more lube and started working the second finger in. Junsu tensed up at first, but when Yoongi went deeper, he relaxed with a trembling sigh. His slick opening pulsed as it sucked Yoongi’s fingers right in and suddenly the man found his jeans too uncomfortable. He gulped and moved his fingers quicker.

“Stop,” Junsu murmured, reaching for his wrist. “I want you now.”

“But hyung, you’re not stretched eno-”

“I’m a vampire,” Junsu cut him off, the words strained and a slight irritation creeping into his voice. “I can handle it. I _want_ to handle it.”

His last words were downright begging and with them came a heavy rush of air, dark and arousing. His cock was still lying on his stomach, untouched, in a deeper shade of pink than before, slowly dripping clear liquid onto his skin.

Yoongi cursed and pulled his fingers free, causing Junsu to hiss sharply. Hand slippery from lube, he tried to open the button of his jeans, but gave up eventually and yanked the pants down along with his underwear. His hands were shaking when he got rid of his hoodie and shirt and pushed his damp hair back from his face. His bangs needed cutting, the tips were getting into his eyes.

“If I hurt you, hyung…” he started, climbing over the vampire and easily falling between his legs.

The corner of Junsu’s mouth quirked – the first thing resembling a smile Yoongi had seen on his face this evening. His lids fluttered and cracked open, bright red eyes peeking at Yoongi through wet lashes. Silent, thinking. Contemplating.

“Don’t hold yourself back,” he finally said – no, almost purred. The tip of his tongue slipped out and glided over the red lips, slow and wet. “I want to feel you. Properly.”

“Fuck, hyung,” Yoongi whispered, bowing down and catching those tantalizing lips in a kiss. “Fuck,” he mumbled again, between sucking on Junsu’s tongue and biting his lips. “You’re – shit – you’re killing me…”

Junsu flinched, but did not say anything, only pulled Yoongi closer.

“Now,” he spoke into the younger’s mouth. And who was Yoongi to deny him anything.

Head spinning from the intoxicating spells around Junsu, Yoongi lined himself up and tried to push in, but the other was so tight that the head of his cock got caught on the rim. Yoongi tried again, slipping two fingers into the cool wetness and spreading them, so that he was holding Junsu open. He was rewarded with another rush of arousal, the heavy air wrapping itself around him and cradling him like a soft blanket.

Yoongi succeeded on a third try, his cock now achingly hard and pre-come steadily dripping down the shaft. Junsu’s insides gripped him almost painfully as he squeezed the head past the rim and slowly started to inch the rest of his cock in.

But Junsu apparently did not want anything slow tonight, because he wrapped his legs around Yoongi and yanked the man towards him. Yoongi fell on top of the vampire with a surprised shout, his erection fully sheathed inside Junsu.

“Hyung,” he groaned, “I’ll come too soon if you…”

Junsu silenced him with a kiss and lifted his legs higher until Yoongi had to disconnect their mouths and catch Junsu’s knees into the crooks of his elbows. Junsu’s hole was still squeezing him on the verge of too tight and he had to take several deep breaths to stave the impending orgasm away. The vampire under him was trembling with the effort to hold still, his nose scrunched cutely and one fang piercing his plump lower lip. The only thing Yoongi did not like was the fact that Junsu’s eyes were closed again. It gave him an uneasy feeling, as if Junsu was not fully there.

 _He was not fully there to begin with_ , his brain mocked. _He was in shock when you found him, barely recovered from what was basically a suicide attempt._ _You should have calmed him down and given him_ _some_ _blood, but instead you…_

Yoongi growled through his teeth and pulled back almost all the way. So, Junsu had wanted it hard.

The vampire gasped when Yoongi drove into him, a sharp intake of air that turned into a shaky moan. His tight channel contracted around Yoongi and his jaw fell slack.

“Good,” he choked out. “Per- uh – _perfect_ , my little star.”

“Shit,” Yoongi groaned, vision hazy from the constant pressure on his cock. He pulled back and thrust forward again… and again. Junsu’s mouth was now wide open, unfiltered moans bubbling up from his throat. His upper lip was pulled back and his sharp fangs glistened in the dim bedroom light. The left one was covered with Junsu’s blood from when he had bitten his already healed lip.

That made Yoongi’s eyes fall on Junsu’s neck again. The ugly wound was now only a thin dark line, but the two faded scars were still there, small and round, just above the collarbone.

Yoongi bent down, his rhythm faltering a bit, and kissed the scars. Junsu choked on a moan, gripped his hair and pushed his head further down.

Yoongi bit the vampire.

A sob tore from Junsu’s throat as he shivered from head to toe. His insides clamped around Yoongi again, so tight that the man felt tears prickling his eyes. Swallowing a moan, Yoongi attacked the other’s neck one more time, sucking and biting as hard as he could. Junsu’s skin felt like a thick leather between his teeth and there was no way Yoongi could have bitten through it, but the fact did not stop him from trying. The air around him was so heavy that it was difficult to breathe, and Yoongi felt his head going light as he grabbed Junsu’s waist with both hands and thrust into him fast and deep.

Fuck, he was going to come.

Yoongi increased his pace, skin slapping loudly against skin, each thrust punching breathless sobs and whimpers out of Junsu. Through the blood rushing in his ears he heard a ripping sound, and when he lifted his head, he saw that Junsu had pushed his fingers through the bedsheets _and_ mattress. The vampire had his head pressed into the pillow, the tendons in his neck taut and quivering. Drool was running down his cheek and his eyes were finally open, but they were gazing the ceiling, wide and unseeing.

“Oh, fuck,” Yoongi groaned, shaking from pleasure, his eyes raking over the vision before him. “Fuck, hyung, I’ll…”

Junsu grabbed his own legs instead of the ruined mattress and pulled the knees towards his shoulders, so that Yoongi lost his balance and fell on the other. That pale clavicle with two little scars was suddenly right before him again and he resumed from where he had stopped earlier. He was slobbering all over Junsu’s neck and collarbones like a starved dog, but was too far-gone to care. Familiar heat was coiling in his stomach, stronger with every passing second.

Junsu’s hand ran over his sweaty back, dull fingernails leaving burning scratches.

“Shit,” Yoongi cursed, pulled back a bit and pushed Junsu’s knees into the pillow, next to his shoulders, so that the vampire was almost folded in half. Now he had enough room to rise on his knees and thrust into Junsu even harder. “I swear, hyung, I – fuck – I’m going to _die_ if you…”

Junsu flinched so violently that Yoongi almost lost his balance, and let out a warning growl. His eyes snapped into focus, the look he sent Yoongi dark and… angry?

Yoongi gasped and dug his fingers into the undersides of Junsu’s knees. “Hyung, what…”

Junsu grabbed Yoongi’s shoulders and pushed the younger’s head back into his neck. Another low growl reverberated through his chest, wild and menacing, that caused Yoongi’s hair to rise on the back of his neck.

The sharp jolt of fear did not stop his frantic thrusts into Junsu, though.

“Don’t…” Junsu snarled, voice deep and threatening, even if his words were punctuated by Yoongi’s thrusts. “Don’t you… ever… dare to… leave… me and… die…”

The last word was nothing more than a sob, but Yoongi’s head was too clouded with pleasure to comprehend the fact. Junsu’s slick insides squeezed him again, the burning coil in his stomach snapped and he spilled deep into Junsu, moaning and shivering. With all the strength still left in him he clamped his teeth on Junsu’s collarbone to ground himself in this dark and endlessly spinning delight.

Junsu was crying.

Yoongi did not register it at first, mind hazy and body boneless after probably the most physically demanding sex he had ever had. His arms were buzzing and he found it slightly difficult to move his fingers. He could not feel his legs.

Slowly he became aware of Junsu’s body under him. The vampire’s legs had fallen down and were loosely wrapped around his hips. His skin was warmer than before, Yoongi’s body heat seeped into it. Two small indents on his collarbone were right before Yoongi’s eyes, now covered with saliva, but the skin around them as smooth as ever.

Yoongi lifted his hand. It moved slowly, as if he was swimming through molasses. Curiously, he touched the scars with one finger. They were shallow, and white as Junsu’s skin, but still noticeable. Yoongi pressed lightly on the scars and wondered what could have made them. The indents were almost round and roughly two finger widths apart, so that Yoongi’s canines had fitted perfectly into them before.

Yoongi scrunched his brow, brain still too slow to think properly. They did look like teeth marks, now when the thought had popped into his head. But vampires did not have scars. Junsu’s bitten lip had healed within a minute at most and the scar on his neck had knitted itself almost together during the time they were having sex. Yoongi remembered how, after the fight in the cathedral two weeks ago, even the horrible cuts on Taehyung’s chest had healed with less than a day.

But maybe…

Yoongi heard a choking sound. He stilled his finger and only realised then that the body under him was shivering.

With a groan, Yoongi lifted his head and tried to rise up. His arms were shaking with the effort and his stomach was uncomfortably sticky. Glancing down, he saw that both him and Junsu were covered with come up to their chests.

Oh, and he was inside the vampire.

Yoongi pulled out, still sensitive, and watched his own come trickling into the sheets, the haze slowly clearing from his mind. Good heavens, maybe he should go to gym to keep up with Junsu.

Ah, yes, Junsu.

Yoongi lifted his eyes and looked at the other. The sight was in such a contrast with the tranquil pleasure softly buzzing in his veins that it took a few seconds to comprehend what he was seeing. Junsu had an arm thrown over his eyes, mouth parted and fangs piercing his lip again. He was obviously trying to keep quiet, but muffled sobs forced their way out every now and then. His jaw was trembling.

The younger was at loss. He rubbed his face, shook his head and climbed next to Junsu, mindless of the come dirtying the sheets.

“Hyung, are you crying?”

Junsu gasped and turned to lie on his side, facing away from Yoongi.

“Hyung?” Now Yoongi was worried again. “What… why… did I do something? Did I hurt you? What should I do?”

Junsu drew in a shaky breath and burrowed his face deeper into the pillow.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered brokenly.

“What for?” Yoongi asked, surprised, and plastered himself on Junsu’s back. When there was no objection, he turned Junsu over, so that he could see the other’s face. Junsu’s eyes were closed again and the skin on his cheeks was wet with tears.

“Sorry,” he mumbled again and sniffed.

“No, hyung,” Yoongi said and lifted a tired hand to pet Junsu’s face and neck, in order to calm him down. “You did nothing wrong. If anything, I should be sorry… for taking advantage of you like that when you were obviously not okay.”

The vampire shook his head, scarlet hair framing his pallid face like a blood-soaked halo. “It was me,” he choked out. “I should have stopped and – and talked and… you never deny me anything… I know how vampires could enchant and mesmerize humans… I should… I – I’m…”

“Shh, hyung,” Yoongi soothed. “It’s okay. You haven’t made me do anything I haven’t wanted myself. Don’t worry about me. It’s okay.”

“But you… I… it’s not fair that…”

No,” Yoongi murmured, “it’s all right.” He stroked Junsu’s damp cheek, so cold and smooth beneath his fingers, until Junsu sighed deeply and Yoongi felt him relax a bit. “It’s okay, really.”

Junsu gulped and opened his eyes. The red glow was dimming, only a faint sparkles glimmering in the black depths. The overwhelming grief from before was dulled and replaced with a tired resignation. Yoongi did not know which one he liked less, the hopeless desperation he had seen earlier or the hollow, weary sadness that he was facing now.

But he did not have time to ponder on that, because Junsu’s jaw was trembling again and before he knew, the vampire had pushed his face against his neck.

“I don’t know why…” he mumbled. “I’ve never… I can’t stop crying and…”

“Then cry. It’s okay. It will get better.”

Yoongi cringed inwardly. He sounded like a broken record.

But his words really seemed to calm the older, at least a bit. Junsu sighed, swallowed another sob and turned his eyes back at Yoongi. Long pale fingers were shyly tracing the man’s neck.

“May I?”

Yoongi quickly nodded and presented his neck to the vampire, snuggling his face into the messy red hair. “Anytime, hyung.”

Junsu had fed from him quite a few times by now, but never had he seemed so oddly timid - and yet so desperate. He kissed Yoongi’s skin over and over again, nipping at it and sucking gently, until it was all flushed red and tender and Yoongi could feel something hot stirring in his lover belly, despite his exhaustion. The initial sharp pain, when Junsu’s fangs pierced his skin, tore a shuddering gasp out of him and subconsciously he bucked his hips against the other’s thigh. The sweet stinging ache spread through his neck and shoulder, sending little pinpricks even to the farthest corners of his body and bringing the pleasure alive once again. Yoongi could not help but moan and clutch tighter to Junsu, while pressing harder down to his toned thigh and rocking his hips shallowly.

“Hyung,” he breathed, “you… oh, fuck…”

Junsu hummed in a low voice and Yoongi craned his head a little to look at the vampire. The angle was odd, but from the corner of his eye he could see Junsu’s closed eyelids, wet lashes clinging to ivory-coloured cheeks, cute button nose and rhythmically bobbing Adam’s apple. One of Junsu’s hands was curled into a tight fist and Yoongi knew that the man under him was a deadly creature, but at the moment he really looked like a nursing baby. Somehow the strange comparison made Yoongi’s heart expand almost painfully and he was not sure if he should be disgusted with himself, but he felt his cheeks flaming red and his cock twitching with lust.

Junsu hummed again. His hand crept up to Yoongi’s neck, pressing the human even closer to him. The other hand travelled down until it touched Yoongi’s hard length and wrapped slowly around it. Junsu’s fingers were not chilly, being warmed up for so long against Yoongi’s heated skin, but they were cold enough for the younger to flinch and suck in a surprised gasp.

“Fuck, hyung...” Yoongi groaned. “You don’t… ah… you don’t have to…”

Junsu stopped sucking only to mumble a barely-heard “want to”, latched himself onto Yoongi’s neck again and gripped his length tighter, pumping it with slow, but firm strokes.

“Junsu-hyung,” Yoongi mewled, feeling the pleasure coiling in him again, faster than before, spurred on by Junsu’s teeth in his neck. “I’m… oh fuck – oh fuckfuck… oh my… hyung, more, please, please-please…”

Junsu could not speak, but he made those small moaning noises while trying to swallow at the same time and this turned Yoongi on impossibly more. He was squirming on top of the vampire, trying to get even closer to the other and moaning his name again and again with some broken pleas and plenty of expletives. Junsu sucked harder on his neck and the sharp bursts of pain should have been uncomfortable by now, but it was so good to feel Junsu’s teeth sinking deeper through his skin, sharp contrast – quite literally – to the vampire’s soft lips and gently licking tongue. Junsu’s fingers curled tighter around Yoongi’s cock and the man almost fainted when his vision went blindingly white. And then he was coming with a hoarse cry of Junsu’s name, while the other held his spasming body and lapped carefully at his bleeding neck.

Yoongi realised as if through a thick fog that Junsu had turned them over and laid him down on the bed. He was slipping, as always after a feeding, the sleep making his eyelids heavier with every passing minute.

“Wait a bit,” the vampire whispered. “I’ll bring something to clean you up.”

Yoongi was almost asleep when Junsu came back with a wet towel and gently wiped him clean. Then the older wrapped a soft bathrobe around Yoongi to keep him warm, switched off the light and slipped under the covers with him. Yoongi was out cold almost instantly. Only once did he wake up during the night and heard a quiet sniffle coming from Junsu. But he was too tired to ask anything, so he just huffed sleepily and pulled Junsu closer to him.

The next morning Junsu was gone.

Yoongi forced himself not to worry. Junsu had taken his coat and boots, and had replenished Yoongi’s food supplies, which meant that he had gone by his own accord. Yoongi ate a bit, heated some water and washed himself, and walked around in the forest. Then he changed the dirty bedsheets, wiped up water and mud from the bedroom floor and listened music from his computer. With a sudden surge of panic, he put on his coat again and rushed to the corner between the cottage and garage where he had found Junsu the night before. He saw his knife there, half-buried beneath the snow, probably forgotten by Junsu after he had used it to slice his throat. The fact that Junsu had not taken the knife with him calmed Yoongi a little.

When the sun had set, Yoongi lighted the fireplace, sat behind the table and turned on the vinyl player. The first chords of Pink Floyd’s “Shine on you crazy diamond” filled the room. Wind was howling outside and occasionally Yoongi saw stars peeking through the moving branches. The sky was clear, but there was no moon.

Yoongi huffed and turned to look at the flames dancing in the fireplace. The whole day he had been wondering what was going on with Junsu, and now he was tired. Tired from the last week, tired from Junsu’s sadness, tired from the vampire’s unpredictable mood swings, tired from the fright of the last night… tired even from the pleasure, because what was the use of anything good if it only ended with Junsu being miserable again.

And there was the nasty, cold fear he had felt for the entire week. Yes, Junsu was a vampire, but…

The song ended and Yoongi put the needle to the beginning again. No, Junsu had said yesterday that he will be alright. He had promised to tell Yoongi what was wrong with him. He had told Yoongi not to worry. He had asked Yoongi to wait for him.

But… what if he was not enough for Junsu? What had he done for Junsu, after all, besides tagging along and being a burden? What if Junsu was tired of him? What if he dated Yoongi only because he felt bad for him? Why should he even like Yoongi? He was a gorgeous, immortal vampire. He had Jaejoong – okay, the oldest vampire was now apparently dating Taemin, but Yoongi had a hollow feeling that Taemin would be willing to bend the boundaries of their relationship for Junsu. Why should he waste his time for a human? And what will he do when Yoongi will grow old?

The man lifted the needle from the vinyl and pushed his half-eaten dinner away. The bowl touched a small bag of garlic that Junsu had bought him a few days ago, still lying on the table, exactly where the vampire had left it. The papery skin that covered the garlic bulbs had turned brownish.

Suddenly the living room felt suffocating. Yoongi switched off the light, left his food on the table and went back to the bedroom. The bed was rather narrow, it had always been barely enough for both him and Junsu, but now it seemed strangely big and uncomfortable. Yoongi took off his clothes, wrapped himself into the blanket and closed his eyes. He was not sleepy, but he did not know what else to do in this godforsaken periphery of civilization.

Junsu had called him beautiful. And cute. Like a little fairy. Back when they had first met, in Taehyung’s bookshop.

Yoongi pressed his face into the pillow and cried.

The next morning he called Taehyung and asked him Jaejoong’s number.

Jaejoong did not answer his calls before afternoon. He had been out, on some kind of mission, and his phone had been on silent.

The vampire was worried when Yoongi told him about Junsu’s sudden leaving, but not too much. No, he said, Junsu was not with him and Taemin, but he was certainly alive. The vampires were able to sense if someone of their kind was near them, and there were some spells that could create a stronger connection between two vampires, so that they could feel each other’s presence over a long distance. Jaejoong, Junsu, Taemin and Taehyung had formed something akin to a little pack, all connected to the others, and even if they could not read each other’s minds or feel the other’s emotions, Jaejoong could tell that Junsu was not dead.

“I don’t worry about him being dead,” Yoongi explained. “It’s not even full moon. Just… he has acted really weird for a week, and yesterday… well, he bought me a silver knife a few days ago and yesterday, when I wasn’t home, he cut his throat open with it.”

A strong gust of wind rattled the windows and the line crackled.

“He… what?” Jaejoong asked.

Yoongi sat on the floor, pressed the receiver firmer against his ear and told about the happenings of the last week, from the beginning of Junsu’s sadness and mood swings to the events of yesterday evening and the night after. Out of the common decency he tried to skip any details of sexual nature, but Jaejoong was having none of it and soon Yoongi found himself describing Junsu’s strange reaction to being bitten.

“Where did you bit him?” Jaejoong wanted to know.

“Between his neck and shoulder, above the collarbone.”

“Right collarbone?”

“Yes, but why…”

“Did you see anything strange there?”

“Yes… two small scars.”

“It’s his turning bite,” Jaejoong explained.

“His… ah, now I understand. I wondered why it hadn’t healed like the rest of his injuries.”

“It will never heal.” Jaejoong’s voice sounded strained all of a sudden, but maybe it was because of the phone. “The turning bite will stay forever. Or till the end of the vampire’s life.”

“But what does it have to do with Junsu’s… sadness? Grief? Whatever?”

“I have no idea.” Jaejoong was silent for a moment. “Probably nothing. I was just curious.”

“And what do I have to do?”

“Again, no idea. Do you want me and Taemin to come over?”

Yoongi blinked back his sudden tears and nodded, even if Jaejoong could not see it. “Please.”

“Go to somewhere you can use your cellphone and send me the location. We’ll be there as soon as we can.”

Yoongi had taken Junsu’s car again and driven out of the forest to send Jaejoong the location of Junsu’s cottage. For a moment he had wondered why the older vampire did not know the address, and doubted if it was a good idea to tell him, but finally he had given in. He would go crazy like this, cooped up here alone, not knowing what had happened to Junsu. Besides, it was Junsu’s fault for going away without telling him anything, and leaving him on his own.

It was an hour past midnight when Yoongi heard a quiet click and saw the door handle moving. He had not bothered to go to sleep; instead he was sitting on the couch, eating some pizza Junsu had bought him and listening music. At this rate, he thought, “Shine on you crazy diamond” would soon be worn out, but it was the only vinyl record here, and Yoongi was not in the mood for listening anything from his computer. The song reminded him of Junsu.

But that soft _click_ dragged him out of his musings and he was on his feet before even realising it, clutching the plate with his half-eaten pizza in his hands. Damn, the last week had really got the better of his nerves. He had not heard any steps from outside, therefore the person behind the door must have been a vampire. Jaejoong and Taemin? Or a really cautious vampire hunter? A killer sent by Leeteuk’s uncle? Maybe Jaejoong’s phone had been tapped and the location Yoongi had so carelessly sent him before had fell into wrong hands.

The door opened silently and a tuft of red hair peeked inside. “Yoongi-ah? You’re still awake?”

The relief hit so strongly that Yoongi felt his head going light. He wanted to cry. And scream. And punch something. And laugh. But for some reason he could not even open his mouth, let alone make a sound. Instead he just stood where he was and put his plate slowly on the table, so that he could clench his hands into fists.

Junsu stepped inside and closed the door after him. A puff of cold air came with him.

Yoongi frowned and stared at the vampire, a confusion and worry now adding to the already troubled mess of his emotions. Junsu looked like shit – well, like a very handsome shit, but still. His coat was undone and his shirt drenched. His boots were muddy. His hair was askew and dripping wet. His face was sickly pale – again – and he was sporting dark bags under his eyes.

Yoongi opened and closed his mouth like a fish on dry land. Clenching his fists together so strongly that he felt fingernails pressing into the flesh of his palms, he took a gulp of air and tried again.

“You look like shit.”

Junsu only quirked an eyebrow at him and nodded slowly, as if in a dream. Then he hung up his soaked coat and took off his boots, seemingly unaware of their state.

The anger came almost from nowhere, hot and ugly, growing stronger the more he looked at the other. It was Junsu – and at the same time it was not. It seemed more like a gaunt shadow of what had once been Junsu.

“Where have you been?”

The words sounded harsh and cold even to him. Junsu winced and blinked his eyes at him. They were dark and dull and so very tired.

Yoongi felt like hitting him.

Unfortunately Junsu was a vampire – which meant that he would have barely felt the blow. So Yoongi resorted to the next best thing.

“I’ve had enough of this shit,” he snapped. His ears were ringing and he was suddenly hyper-aware of every movement of Junsu, while everything else sank into a weird fog. It felt like a beginning of one of his bar fights, when he was so pissed off with everyone that he just said whatever came to his mind to rile his opponents up. Only this time he was sober. “I’m fed up with this. You act like a fucking lunatic for the whole week, then you say that we are in danger, then you say that we are not, then you slice your throat because you feel like it and then you fuck off for two days. I’m fucking tired. Tomorrow I’m gonna call myself a taxi, get the fuck away from here and take the first train to Seoul.”

Junsu sighed. “Yoongi,” he started, “I’m…”

“No,” Yoongi cut him off. “I don’t fucking care what you want to say.” His voice was rising. “You’re going to tell me that you’re ‘sorry’ or whatever, right? Well, big news, I don’t want to hear any of this shit. I’m going back and I don’t give a shit about any fucking gangsters out there. Be a dramatic bitch if you want to, run away and sulk and cut your fucking throat open as many times as you want to. I don’t care! If you’re bored of me, then just say so and I’ll get the fuck away. Go and fuck Jaejoong, go and fuck your fucking maker, go and… fuck you! Fuck you and fuck this fucking shit!”

Yoongi was kind of hoping for Junsu to be angry with him. Or get hurt, at least, as a payback for the last two days. But Junsu seemed to be past anger and hurt. Or maybe he was already hurting so much that nothing Yoongi did could affect him.

“I can’t fuck my maker,” Junsu said, as calm as ever, and sat down on the couch. Water was dripping from his hair and clothes, leaving darker spots on the fabric. “He’s dead.”

That did not make any sense. “Dead?”

Junsu nodded. “Two days ago. That evening when I… yeah. That’s why I was on the edge for the whole week.”

“But…” Yoongi felt his anger disappearing as fast as it had come and an unpleasant dizziness taking its place. “How can he…” He sat next to Junsu, not caring of the other’s wet clothes. “But he… It’s not even full moon, how…”

“I know.”

The needle of the vinyl player came to the end of the record and the song stopped with a soft crackle.

“Did you… did you find his body?”

Junsu shook his head. “I felt him. I felt that something was wrong with him, and then suddenly… there was no-one.”

Yoongi remembered a conversation between Junsu and Jaejoong, the morning after the battle, when both of the vampires had apparently thought that he was asleep.

“ _He is my maker. He can feel where I am.”_

“ _You can cut the connection, you know.”_

“ _I’d never.”_

The younger swallowed. “But how can he be killed if there’s not a full moon? It was a new moon two days ago. It’s as far from the full moon as it can be.”

Junsu leaned his head back and closed his eyes. “Vampires can be killed at any time, Yoongi-ah. Full moon only increases the effect of silver. But there are other ways. Fire, for example. Though it’s not as effective as silver. I mean, you have to stay still for the fire to catch.”

“So you’re saying that someone… I don’t know… tied him up and set him on fire?”

“No, not someone.” Junsu opened his eyes and looked out of the window. “He did it by himself.”

“What the fuck?”

A hint of smile played on Junsu’s lips, but Yoongi did not like that smile.

“He was tired. Remember? Tired of himself, tired of the flow of time, tired of the endless changing of the world…”

The older lifted his head and looked Yoongi straight in the eye.

“He had wanted to do this for a long time. I did not understand it before, but that evening… I knew. He was only waiting… for me… to find someone.” A humourless laugh fell from his lips. “He knew that I have never been able to manage on my own, that’s why he waited.”

Yoongi took the vampire’s hand, uncaring of the cold. There was a lump in his throat and he found it difficult to speak.

“Hyung, do you… I… you want to…”

Junsu squeezed his fingers. Carefully. As carefully as he was now looking at Yoongi.

“I want to,” he said. “If you’re still willing to put up with me. But you don’t have to, if…”

“No, hyung,” Yoongi whispered, his voice rough. “I want to. I really want to.”

Junsu’s smile changed. It was only a minuscule shift, a little quirk of his mouth and a glimmer in his eyes, but for Yoongi it seemed as if the first rays of spring sun had touched the other’s face.

“I would cry if I could,” Junsu told him quietly, “but I’m afraid I don’t have any tears left. It’s all I’ve done for the past two days.”

Yoongi hid his face into Junsu’s wet shirt. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “For yelling at you.”

Cold fingers touched his cheek.

“Don’t be. I kind of deserved it. And at least you’re alive.”

“You shouldn’t have left, you know.” Yoongi tilted his head and peeked at the vampire, the lower half of his face still pressed against Junsu’s shirt. “You could have stayed here. I know that I tend to pull away from others when I’m having a bad time because I don’t want to bother them with my emotions, but… if you’re feeling the same, then you don’t have to. You can stay. I can handle it.”

Junsu’s fingers were now drawing little circles on Yoongi’s cheek. “I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

“I’d rather take that over not seeing you at all. What if the situation had been reversed? What if I had just randomly decided to fuck off without telling you anything? How would you have felt?”

Junsu’s face twisted… and the next moment Yoongi found himself straddling the other’s thighs, his face pressed against Junsu’s neck, the arms wrapped around him on the verge of too tight and Junsu’s dark presence swaddling him like a heavy blanket.

“Whoa, hyung, what…”

“Don’t,” Junsu pressed through his teeth. “Don’t, Yoongi-ah, I… I get it now, I didn’t… damn, I’m a bloody fool. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Yoongi hugged him back, feeling a little dizzy from the sudden movement. Yes, he knew that Junsu was a vampire, but the things that came with it still managed to surprise him sometimes.

“It’s okay, hyung. Just remember next time.”

Junsu nodded against the top of his head. “I will. I pro- oh. Wait.”

Curiously, Yoongi pulled back to look at him. “What is it?”

Junsu lifted Yoongi up and put him to sit on the couch. Then he stood and tilted his head, listening.

“Wait a moment,” he said and opened the door. “I’ll be back soon. Promise.”

He returned after a few minutes, but remained on the threshold, barefoot and without his coat.

“Yoongi-ah,” he asked, mostly confused and a bit annoyed. “Why is Taemin’s car there on my driveway?”


End file.
